I need to vent / rant to you. You may never see this, but at least this will bring me a small sense of relief. If you do read this; it's because I grew balls for a few minutes.
I love you. Not the, 'Hey, you're a great friend' love you. But they, 'Hey, I love you' love you. Ya' know? The first time we talked, part of me knew I'd be stuck with you for a while. That part of me was right. I had a slight feeling maybe a little attraction would develop; I didn't think it would progress so much. I just never imagined it would become this.
Never did I expect this; nor did I want it to be honest. (Maybe that's a tiny fib, though?) But it did happen; it was obviously meant to. Like I always say: everything happens for a reason. You can't help who you love, just as much as you can't change the way you feel. Even if you want to. There's no denying there's something there, whether you want there to be or not. There is, and it slightly blows my mind.
I know you feel something too. I know you do. That time we were sitting next to each other, and you leaned over to say something and you got real close, right in my face. It sent a shock through my body, and I know you had a similar reaction because you pulled back and I could read it in your eyes. (I'm good at that, by the way.) I read it on your face and in your eyes. That was the exact moment I knew for sure - it was the moment I first noticed it. It may have been the moment you realized it too....or it was the moment you confirmed it. Trust me, I can tell. I bet it scares you or maybe worries you, huh? (I can tell that too.) Again, I know for a fact that you know just as well as I do that there's something there. I can tell by the way you look me in the eye. The smiles you give here and there in certain moments, the way we laugh.
Then there's also this slightly naive way that I feel like I can trust you. I never feel that for a single person, ever. There's just something about you that makes me feel that if I needed to, I could put my life in your hands, and be fine. That scares me a little bit, especially because you'd think that some of the things you say would make me feel the opposite. But it doesn't. I have trust issues due to past experiences, but somehow you take that away. Hopefully, you never give me a reason not to feel that, because I like having that. (I'm not trying to say you're perfect, because I know perfection does not exist. You have flaws, several of them, just as all humans do.)
Ya' know what? I know that right now-if you are in fact reading this-you're smiling like a fool. I just know, I can clearly picture it. I can form a solid picture of everything from your stance to the look in your eyes. Because you know what? I know you all too well, kiddo. You know it too. (I know you're not stupid or ignorant. I have a decent amount of faith in you.)
Keep smiling pumpkin - it makes the sun shine.
♥Always,
Me.
"When you're in love with someone it inspires you and gives you hope. You have faith that even if you can't be with them on Earth, that if God wills, you will be with them one day in Heaven."
I'm going to sleep. I've been happier these past few days than I have in a long time!
Everything happens for a reason.
Labels: eyes, faith, feeling, happy, letter, life, love, reason, shine, smile, sun, yours
posted by LyssaLoveless at 7:16 PM