That's what you are - a habit, and a bad one.
You have this sick way of being able to control the beating of my heart. You can command my breathing to cease, and my legs to grow weak. The sound of your voice gives me chills and the feeling of you touch send electric waves through my veins. The sight of your smile brings one of my own across my lips. Pain surges within me after all this because I remember all too soon what things are really like. For every good minute we have, there's roughly one thousand four hundred and thirty-nine heart wrenching ones. On my part at least.
I have said numerous times that there's no way to put into words what you make me feel. I feel everything there is to possibly feel when it comes to you. I'll never be able to understand it. I don't think I'll ever want to, some things are best left not being understood.
All I can say is it wears me down and it eats at me all the time. Moments with you, conversations between you and I constantly play on my mind. Day and night, and some point you're consuming my thoughts. You give me itty bitty fluttery butterflies, and I hate it. Every single simple thing you do, isn't that simple at all because it strikes some chord in me. I can't stand it, it makes me ill that I could give someone that sort of power over my emotions. But I didn't really give it - you took it. Slowly and smoothly, you weaseled your way into my heart with a smile. I don't know what you intentions were, or what they are now. All I know is I'm tired of this.
I need to let go, and you need to open up your gorgeous eyes.
You can't put a heart on layaway; and I'm not waiting forever.
Labels: bad, butterflies, deadly, emotion, eyes, feel, forever, habit, heart, layaway, letter, life, love, sick, smoking, thoughts, time, understand
posted by LyssaLoveless at 8:09 PM