Our smiles once blossomed as beautiful as daisies in the purest hope of spring. The laughter passing our lips, as soothing as the whispering early evening breeze. Cozy embraces spent beneath the heated starry skies of summer fueled the sparks. Chemistry as firey as the rising sun above still waters and dew covered grass raced through the air we shared together. Too soon all of those feelings, fade and fall like the leaves in the wake of autumn. Hearts stripped like the trees, uncovered and unattached. Vulnerable to the sweeping in of the frigid breath of winter. The soft white snow trickles down from the bluest skies, burying what was left of our yesterdays; blowing in with the fresh promise of new tomorrows.
Then the cycle begins once again; strong hopes of alternative endings dance in the songs of the birds perched proudly along power lines and fences. Optimism shining through the clouds and soaking in like pouring rain. Faith filled thoughts of long walks through parks, the scent of autumn waltzing in the wind. Dreams of December mornings spent with bittersweet caffeine and afternoons twirling in the precipitation of snowflakes. Butterfly inducing thoughts of lazy nights spent wrapped in blankets and warmed by smiles. Naive hopes and pretense of love.
Sometimes when all is still and my mind isn't focused on any specific action, my thoughts run to you. The pace of my flowing blood seems to speed up, sending a weird rush through my body. I bite my lip and hold my head in my hands, sometimes letting more than just a few tears escape.
The simplest things set off these thoughts. Songs, phrases, photos, anything that I can somehow connect to you or a moment we shared. I think of how things may have changed had I done so, or had you done so. Would this be any different if I hadn't said this or done that? Could I have done something wrong....or was I just all wrong? Questions, visions, everything flows through my mind at the speed of light. Bun then I remember, this wasn't my doing, it was yours.
I put forth more effort with you than I ever have with anyone. And I learned to never do it again..........or maybe I didn't learn. Or maybe I just still have tons of silly faith.
I know I've gotten better at calling what's going to happen, and being right. But regardless, I'm not any better at walking away or letting go than I was back then. I always seem to think people will be different, but as usual, I'm never right.
I guess I'm just a little more naive than I thought.
Labels: breeze, butterflies, daisies, faith, fall, fresh, hearts, laughter, lazy, lips, love, promise, sky, smiles, spring, stars, summer, sun, winter
posted by LyssaLoveless at 8:25 PM